The other day I had a client ask me about her toxic work environment.
“I feel defeated,” she said. “My work environment is really toxic and by the time I get home I barely have enough energy for the things I actually want to do, or the people I should be spending time with. I feel stuck and it’s really eating away at me.”
Oh sista, I’ve been there. Haven’t we all at some point?
Tough boss, bad projects, hard roommates, draining friends… we’ve all been there.
It's how we respond to these situations that makes all the difference.
So if you’re in a tough spot at work, here’s what I want you to know.
You can teach yourself to let go without giving in.
You can exercise being kind and soft, while still being firm and strong.
We get in a bad habit of telling ourselves we live in a black / white, fail / win, yes or no world.
But the best leaders (and the wisest gurus) know that ain’t true.
When people are “not their best” (read - ass bags at work, or insecure roomies) we have to remember that they are simply doing the best they can, with the tools they have.
And true - their best might suck right now - but it’s not our place to judge them.
It’s our job to empathize with them, realize that maybe they’re going through something we don’t know about.
And then it’s our job to move on.
MOVE ON to focusing on what we need, and how we can cultivate that.
Just because you are empathizing and loving someone when they’re struggling doesn’t mean you let them smack you around.
You move on and focus on filling up your day (your heart) with the things that light you up, that make you better.
Clarify what you need, and make that a priority.
What does that look like for you at work?
It might mean lovingly letting your team know that you won’t be online after 4pm anymore because you’re taking care of your health (doctors orders) - and hit up that soul cycle class that makes you a happier, kinder, harder working human.
Or maybe it means coming in an extra hour early to work (fave coffee in hand of course) to work on that passion project you’ve been craving to do, and get your blog or consulting business off the ground this month.
Whatever you decide to do today, let go of judging others for their “not so stellar” performance and MOVE ON to focus on what you need, love, and should be putting on your schedule this week.
Make a date with that inspiring friend.
Plan a local adventure.
Sign up for that class.
We are the only ones in charge of lighting ourselves up.
So let’s get lit.