I’ve been meeting once a week with a whole bunch of brilliant ladies in my latest course.
We talk about life, love, tips, and tricks… and cheese. I really love cheese.
Lately, people have been asking for my “personal stories”. And not the cheese kind. But I get all shy and wiggly on my insides when I think about sharing the details because it’s personal, imperfect, and very life-related… not just work-related.
And yet I know that when we share our most personal, vulnerable stories - we make the deepest, most real connections.
So here’s a little about my love story and a weekend on a houseboat.
A week before the trip you could find me bopping around town wearing a cheery smile, large latte in hand-- but by night, I was curled up in my bed, full of tears.
It was a tough year. There was the messy break-up, the second guessing of my religion - wait, I mean all religions, the overly-draining job that I loved and hated all at the same time, and on top of that - I missed my mom, and lived in a place where I was depressively homesick every night (feeling like an adolescent child for feeling that way in my late twenties). #getittogether
But during the day - girl put on a smile and did what she needed to do. Survived, and tried, desperately tried... to thrive.
So for this one weekend, I followed my gut with the only - literally the ONLY - thing I knew that felt right.
And for me - at that time - it was to be around people who made me feel at home. Who inspired me. Who were salt of the earth, genuine, I-am-who-I-am and I-love-you-for-who-you-are people. {I’m sure you’ve got a few of those in your life}
I felt confused about everything that year - love, family, dreams, work… I was utterly and completely lost.
But I knew how I felt when I was around this small group of people. And it was the real deal.
So I committed myself to a weekend with them, as I had done many (and yet not enough) times before - and it changed everything.
A year that started with visceral heartbreak, confusion, and despair - instantly turned into clarity, hope, and real (capital L) Love.
It wasn’t anything I could have “planned” for, or created goals around. I didn’t repeat affirmations of true love, and then suddenly wake up one day to find it.
But I trusted in one tiny thing that felt right… and I just started there.
And for me that was a handful of people. Mostly a group of dudes, who always made me feel like family, whether I was at my best or my absolute worst. They loved me the same, unconditionally. they. felt. right.
Sometimes we don’t know a lot, we actually barely know anything - we feel lost, sad, completely out of control.
We are looking for the answers to so many things it feels like a deep hole with no escape.
But most of the time, we only need to know one thing. Just one small thing that feels right.
And it turns out if you hang out with people you love, and admire, and who inspire you… they have friends (with sexy senses of humor, and goofy orange hats) that can sweep you off your feet and make you believe in true {slap you on your ass, I never knew men were this f-ing rad and good} love.
So even if you feel like you barely know of anything that feels right… I can almost guarantee you that you can find one… tiny… seemingly insignificant thing that - in your gut - feels right, today.
Start there. Surrounded yourself with those people, join that class, play that instrument, write in that journal, drink that coffee, make that meal, call that friend.
Because that one tiny thing could lead you to everything you ever wanted.
xx, Kelsey